Potty Problems

potty

My daughter has been potty training for what seems like an eternity. We started her slowly at around 18 months because we knew she was capable of grasping this. Claire is now a little over two years old and is able to pee in the potty with no problem and for the most part keeps her Pull-Up diapers pretty dry. Although we’ve got the pee thing down; the dirty, not so distant relative of the vowel movement family is not something she seems to understand. Pooping is so much harder. My wife tells me that some kids usually grasp one over the other and so pooping is the one Claire doesn’t grasp. Claire has pooped in the potty before, a handful of times I might add. However, this has been due to us seeing her face turn a shade of red and purple that we’ve come to recognize.

We have instilled a price system for going to the potty that has stickers and a chart. For every 4 pees she gets to pick anything out of a plastic container we have in the bathroom. Every time she poops she automatically gets a price. The stickers show her how many more bathroom visits until she gets a price. The prices consist of chocolate, stickers, pencils, coloring pads, etc. Claire understands how this system works very well, she will say to me, “two more Papi and I get a dulce (candy in Spanish).” I will praise her and say, yes two more. However, she won’t poop in the potty. I speak slowly to her and try to explain it and even though she gets it for peeing she is missing it for the other. “Instant price Claire. Instant! No waiting 4 times, you get it right away!” She will smile and say ok and then go poop in a corner.

There are several people telling us their own particular methods of how to teach them and we have finally realized that Claire is too content with the amount of comfort the diaper provides. The padding in diapers absorbs and allow for the discomfort of a kids vowel movements to not be noticed much. So today we swung by Target and got two pairs of those training underwear. The idea is that it has less absorption fabric to catch pee or poop, but because its not too padded like a diaper the kid will recognize that ‘this is not very comfortable’ and hopefully be more aware of when needing to use the potty.

We just got this training underwear so I’m not sure what to expect. I have this slight fear that I will find my daughter opening her said underwear and fling poop everywhere in defiance. I’m fine with cleaning poop, but to randomly find it one day at home as I go about my day creeps me out.

Somehow it always comes back to poop on this blog…

Claire has been great in most things. We really have been blessed with her ability to follow instructions and deal with change. I hope that this poop problem doesn’t “hit the fan”.

Categories: baby pooping on you, fatherhood, growing up, potty, potty training | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Blessed

Photo May 13, 7 17 21 AM

I was listening to the radio this morning and the weather folks were talking about how hot it’s supposed to get. High 80s they said. The radio announcers complained to the weather guy about so much heat. A week ago the same radio station and announcers complained that it was too chilly in the morning—high 50s. Three weeks ago it was in the 70s and felt fantastic. The radio announcer said, “this is great weather, but its not going to last.” It’s easy to denounce this announcer as a whiner, but in reality I, as well as many of us do the same thing. We tend to not be content with what we have before us.

We want more. Better. Newer. Now.

My wife and I recently acquired new-to-us couches from her brother. They are pretty great and we really enjoy them. Undoubtedly, when you change out a piece of furniture the rest doesn’t match anymore and so began a slight design renovation in our home. An accent chair here, a rug there, a piece of wall art and it is starting to have the country sheek look my wife likes. I like it too it’s got this rugged look to it. What I love most about our new living room is the piece of wall art (the header image above). The piece sits right above our new-to-us couch and it’s the first thing that catches your eye when you walk in. Written on the piece is the following statement: “We are truly BLESSED.” It is a simple statement, yet it is one I tend to forget.

We have had the “blessed” piece of wall art for a few weeks now and it is doing things to me I never expected. The piece of art has gone from country sheek décor to a constant reminder of how blessed I truly am. I walk into my home thinking about how I need to finish the basement renovations, redo the flower boxes, worrying about saving money, work, not having enough time, etc. and when my eyes turn to the wall art it stops me and reminds me of my wife, daughter, the fact that I have my own home, that I have a job, that I actually have a savings account with money in it, that I have food in abundance, neighbors that are amazing, that I and my family are healthy…I could go on.

Blessed. So blessed.

I definitely believe God guided my wife to pick this particular piece of wall art not only because it changes the look of our home, but more importantly because it is changing how I see and respond to the blessings before me. When we forget the blessings in our lives our hearts harden. We grow resentful and forget that all of it—life, the stuff, etc.—is a gift. A gift. I’m sure we could have more things, newer things, better things, but the “coulds” are not real. What we do have is.

Sometimes we are like the whinny radio announcer, not content with what is before us. Expecting it to be better and once it does get better we complain about how it will eventually get worse again. That’s no way to live.

What reminds you of your blessings? For me it is a piece of wall art. If you do not have a reminder, search for one. We all need reminders of the blessings in our lives.

Categories: being thankful, blessings, enjoying the moment, fatherhood, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

6 Ways My Daughter Challenges Me

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My daughter is two years old and she has challenged me more so than many other humans on the planet. At least it feels that way. Here are six ways that my daughter challenges me on a daily basis:

1. Going Outside: I love the outdoors. Somehow in the last few years I have found myself staying indoors even when it’s gorgeous out. Maybe its because I’m tired from working, chores, etc. Maybe its because we have cable and all those DIY shows are so interesting. Whatever the case may be my daughter has no desire to follow daddy in this respect. Claire demands to be let out into the wilderness of our suburban .35 acres. I am falling in love with the outdoors once again.

2. Patience: Lets face it; we can all use more patience. I thought I was patient and then my daughter turned two. Claire is on 100% of the time and she has no desire to slow down or wait for me to catch up. Whether it’s her need for food every 30 minutes, or her ADD style of play I am constantly being pushed to grow in my patience.

3. Letting go: I am supper anal when it comes to order in our home. I want things put away immediately once they are no longer being used. Taking my time with chores, projects, etc. does not compute in my brain. I like to tackle things right away and be done with it. This is not possible in the toddler world. Claire is messy and she is unapologetic about it. My daughter’s creativity and toys are not limited to her bedroom or the living room for that matter and I realize more and more that this is ok…I think.

4. Being fearless: I am always amazed at how little fear my daughter has. Whether it’s diving off some platform at the park or saying, “hello” to the person in front of us at the grocery store she does things that many would never venture to do. I can’t tell you of how many great conversations I have had with strangers because my daughter was willing to engage them.

5. Being Healthier: I use to be in pretty decent shape. I got married and somehow the gym became a place I frequented less and less. Work and family life got more complicated and Chick-fil-a and Chinese food became a quick fix. My daughter helps me to realize that I need to be in good shape in order to run and play with her. Quick, unhealthy meals don’t help me and they definitely don’t set an example for my daughter. I want to live a long time and eating healthy is one way of achieving that.

6. Enjoying Moments: When I am patient with my daughter and I let go off my anal tendencies of order and control I find that I have a space to enjoy the moment at hand. My favorite moments with my daughter are the ones where we simply sit and do nothing. Moments where time seems to stand still and we are simply being father and daughter. This is one of the best things my daughter is doing to challenge me to be a better person.

 

Categories: fatherhood, healthy living, kids challenging parents, living in the moment, Parenting, toddlers | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Man’s Strength

Complete-Shoulders

My wife and I recently started watching a very popular show because we heard so many great things about it. One of the things that I noticed right away about the show was the use of man’s strength. There are several male characters and for the most part all of them play the traditional role of strong males, mainly expressing strength via physical means. Big muscles, force, etc. are what you see played out. These guys push through to accomplish their goals even if they are tired, hungry or in pain, which is great and something men should do.

As a family man I have to be aware of when my “push through” attitude is too much. I personally may be able to push through a situation but my wife or daughter may not. There is a need for all men to understand when it is appropriate to take physical strength and express it through gentleness. Gentleness is too often associated with weakness. Yet, gentleness is far from being weak. Gentleness actually requires significant amounts of strength, but more importantly mastery over this strength. Maybe this image will help explain what I mean.

Think of a woodworker carving a piece of wood. His hand must be strong enough to use his tools to cut the bigger chunks off, but when he gets to the more fine detailed work his strength needs to be used in a different way. He can’t simply force the wood into fine detail: he must be gentle, intentional and precise. A gentle motion to perform fine woodwork requires the right amount of strength. Too much strength and the fine detail is forced and damaged. Too little strength and the wood can be misshaped and ruined because the pressure was off.

Misuse of strength leads to abuse or cowardice two things that are unacceptable in any man.

Physical abuse we see so often. Men choosing to force their strength as a means to accomplish their will and often damage those they are responsible for protecting. Cowardice we see when a man chooses to do the easy thing instead of the right thing because it isn’t as difficult, time consuming or will simply cost them less.

I am finding more and more that a strong man is one that can master the discipline of gentleness in all situations. Whether it’s telling a coworker that what they are doing is bad for the company, confronting someone that has wronged you or finding out that your daughter has been sneaking out to have sex with her boyfriend. In all these situations the way a man applies his strength in the precise measure that is required reveals his true strength.

As I raise my daughter I recognize that I must master gentleness. In order for my daughter to be a fine human being I must be precise and intentional with her. This is soooo difficult. Emotions get stirred so easily and our strength as men can too quickly become forceful, or too lenient. That sweet spot that is so precise requires mastery of self, which can only come from a man’s realization that he is called to apply his strength in the proper way, a powerful way, a gentle way.

Categories: being a man, fatherhood, gentleness, manhood, Parenting, strength | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Piercing Through

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Have you ever had one of those days when you find you are sulking in your sadness? Maybe work isn’t going well, or family life is a little nuts. Whatever the case may be you feel down, sad, maybe even depressed. These emotions are very powerful. For some they are crippling.

I had a friend in college that was from Iraq and he would tell me about growing up there during the Desert Storm conflict. This was pretty depressing stuff. There was one thing he said in passing that stuck with me and it wasn’t until now that I recognize its truth and power. This friend recalled the explanation his father gave him in regards to how he kept hope during these difficult times. Although war and conflict surrounded my friend’s life, his father would find peace and comfort in the laughter of children. My friend’s father explained to him that even during something as terrible as war children would play and they would laugh.

Their laughter pierced through war.

Fighting, chaos and death surrounded their lives but laughter; particularly children’s laughter could cut through all of it. This father found the strength to hope not via the government, money, and power but through something as fragile and ungraspable as a child’s laugh.

My first world problems are nothing compared to this friends experience, but the antidote to my moments of sadness is the same–laughter. I can be in the worst of moods and hearing my daughters laugh as she runs throughout the house pierces right through it. Whenever she cracks up and does her full belly laugh I am instantly transported into an experience of joy that is indescribable. Claire’s laughter is brighter and sharper than any darkness, or sadness I can experience.

Laughter, especially that of a child is dripping with joy.

Joy is so necessary in times of sadness and misery. Happiness is an emotion that primarily dependent on a persons mood. I have steak and I am happy. I listen to good music and I am happy. Happiness can be stripped away in seconds because it’s driven by emotions that are affected by our biology (hormones, etc). Joy is different. Joy is something that the soul experiences. A man can be surrounded by war and see destruction (not happy) and still experience joy. A woman’s body can be ripped open as a child is being born (not happy) and yet experience joy. A man can be nailed to a cross (not happy) and experience joy because of what that cross will mean. Joy goes beyond our circumstances. It pierces through them and reveals that although we may not feel happy we have something more powerful at play—joy.

My daughter’s laugh brings me joy even when I am sad, depressed or just blah. It is an incredible gift from someone so small. I think this is why we see such popularity amongst these YouTube videos of children laughing. If you find yourself watching them, the sadness melts away. The pain we may be experiencing isn’t taken away, but joy is given the opportunity to pierce through and that is a beautiful thing.

Categories: children's laughter, depression, fatherhood, fathers, happiness, joy, laughter, Suffering, Uncategorized, war | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Little Dictator

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The day begins with breakfast. I have made banana pancakes and they are really good. The little dictator has not had a taste of the pancakes but she yells that this is not what she wants. I try to reason with her but she yells and throws her sippy-cup in protest. I go back to the kitchen and prepare something else. I come back into the dinning room and present my new offering. The little dictator is still not pleased. Apparently she is not in a good mood this morning.

Breakfast ends and we head over to the little dictators toy area. The little dictator wants to play and so do I, but I have to use the bathroom. This is not acceptable to her. The little dictator screams “play!” I tell her that I will be very quick and the little dictator screams some more and demands that we play now. I head to the bathroom in defiance and the little dictator pounds on the door demanding that I stop this disobedience and that I return to the room to play. I leave the bathroom and proceed to fulfill her demands.

Playtime starts off pleasant. The little dictator pulls out her blocks and makes a tower. Not more than a few seconds go by and she demolishes the tower. The little dictator smiles ever so slightly and turns her eyes towards me. I am not sure what she is thinking but I wonder if she is trying to send a message.

The little dictator demands that we now color with her markers. I grant her wish and pull out the drawing pad and markers. The little dictator cannot be limited to such a thing as a drawing pad. Her imagination is much bigger than that. It encompasses the carpet as well. I encourage that she stay on the drawing pad. The little dictator refuses. Markers are taken away and a new rage comes over her. Crying, followed by the usual rant of, “mine! Mine! MINE!”

Suddenly the little dictator realizes that markers are overrated and that she is hungry once again. I sarcastically point out that we have some great pancakes, but the little dictator is not amused. I think sarcasm is beyond her. The little dictator proceeds to the fridge where she awaits for me to open it and grant her whatever she wishes. Ice cream and mangos are at the top of her list. Ice cream is denied, which causes another rage, but quickly she realizes that mangos are just as good. The mangos have just touched the plate and I hear the little dictator calling out, “Sofia! Sofia!” This is the little dictator’s favorite TV show. She is quite obsessed with it. “Sofia! Sofia!” I finally cave and allow her to watch one episode. There is no sound from her for 22 minutes.

Bliss.

The show ends and the little dictator demands that another episode be played. “Sofia! Sofia!” I refuse and a hissy fit ensues. I ignore it and the little dictator proceeds to go play in her room. She calls for me at full force. I go in to see what the little dictator needs and she runs at me full speed and says, “Daddy! Daddy!” She reaches for me and greets me with, “Hi Daddy.” I smile and pick the little dictator up, “hi baby.” I stare into the beautiful bluesih, gray eyes that are before me and smile.

This is my little dictator. My baby girl.

Categories: children, demanding kids, fatherhood, kids wanting things their way, temper tantrums, toddlers, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

A Man’s Bag

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When we went shopping for a diaper bag I was totally out of my element. My wife understands this realm of existence better than I do, so I deferred to her decision. We bought a black Fisher Price bag that literally fit anything we needed for the baby. The bag was roomy, but not well built so after 7 months of use it started to fall apart. Also the shoulder strap was not very comfortable which is a big deal.

We were on the lookout for a new bag and this time I had some say on the matter since I had been carrying it for months. I wanted something less gigantic, but with space in it. My wife and I went to a weecycle event that had consignment baby clothes. We found the baby bag section and began to search. I found one that was a little more rugged and my wife found one that was new, but kind of girly. We went back and forth for a few minutes and finally we picked the black Kenneth Cole bag with double loops (like a purse) and no shoulder strap. When I say, “we picked” I mean I unconditionally surrendered and my wife had her way.

After just a few days of having the bag I hated it. I couldn’t carry it. The double loops made it look like a purse and I was not going to carry it like one. So I would basically grab the double loops together and carry the bag in that awkward way a husband carries his wife’s purse. It sucked.

After almost a year of carrying this stupid bag I decided that I couldn’t be the only guy who hates his wife’s choice of diaper bag and so I Googled, “manly diaper bags”. There were lots of different companies that had options but I finally settled with DiaperDude. There were several types and all were manly looking—no purse loops. I got their black bag with the three-zipper pocket front. The bag is awesome. The front three pockets are great for wipes, diapers and snacks. The bag, I believe is made for an outing with baby that could last a few hours. I don’t think it’s the type of bag you could carry everything you need for a full 8+hour outing. However, if you are going out for a few hours and require a bottle, some diapers, wipes and a change of clothes this bag will work for you.

One of the great things about this company is that they have multiple styles of bags and they come in very cool, guy friendly colors and patterns (like cammo). If you have a favorite sport team and want their logo on it you can get a bag with it. At the end of the day there are two things I need from a diaper bag: functionality and that it not look like a purse. Diaper Dude delivered.

The one thing I did not like about the Diaper Dude bag was the price. On their website they are asking $60. I think $40 is more reasonable. This is just my opinion. I tend to be very frugal so take that with a grain of salt. I went on Ebay and found a lightly used black bag with the three-zipper front for $20, which was a great deal.

I have been using the bag for about a month now and I have no complaints. It is supper comfortable, easy to access while wearing it (very important) and most importantly—it doesn’t look like a purse.

Categories: comfort, diaper bag, diapers, fatherhood, traveling | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Demands of Love

sick kid

My wife and I had made plans to drop our daughter off at grandmas so that we could have an entire Saturday of Valentines Day festivities. It had been a while since our work schedule’s had synced. We were super excited to go hiking in the mountains, have dinner not involving sippy-cups and bibs, and going to watch a movie. I cant tell you when was the last time I saw a movie on the big screen.

The Valentine’s Day get away was brought to a screeching halt a few days prior due to our daughters vomiting. Claire was not feeling well Thursday evening but it wasn’t until she puked that we realize it was more serious. Friday she had puked again, only in the morning but we knew we wouldn’t be able to drop her off at grandmas if she had some kind of stomach bug. All hopes of a potential romantic get away ended Saturday morning when Claire clearly hadn’t gotten better.

We spent most of Valentines Day comforting our little girl. Claire, who is usually running around as if she had drunk a six-pack of red bull was very calm and subdue. We actually had her cuddling on the couch with us, which is hard to do because she is so active. We spent time comforting her as we watched a few episodes of her favorite cartoon, Sofia the First. My wife did some homework since we weren’t going anywhere and I spent most of my time taking care of the little one.

Dinner was one of our typical recipes that we rotate through every few weeks. We had some wine and dessert from an earlier grocery store trip. We rented a Red box movie that my wife had wanted to see for the last year. It wasn’t the Valentines Day we had hoped for but in the end it worked out.

As parents we find our plans interrupted constantly by our children. It can be frustrating, especially when you’ve been planning something for a few weeks. Yet, the demands of love require that we be capable and willing to be interrupted. As disappointing as it was to not be able to do any of the things we had planned, there was something deeply beautiful in spending time serving our sick daughter. By no means was it as glamorous as a romantic outing for the day, but it was what love demanded and what love demands is always worth while. I know I write about this concept often, but a willingness to surrender to ones desires is so necessary; especially in being a parent, especially as a man. At the end of the day Valentines Day is about spending time with those you love most. It is amazing how sickness can reveal our love for our family. The cleaning up of vomit, having your child in your arms for the entire day, or the simple pat on the back for comfort are gestures of love that say more than weeks of planning an outing, cooking the perfect dinner and buying a gift.

To love is to serve. To serve is to love. This is what love demands of us.

Categories: dying to self, fatherhood, husband and wife, Sick kids, Uncategorized, Valentines Day | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

The Nursery Chair

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I was talking to some friends who are getting ready to have their baby about what type of chair they should have in their nursery. To most people this sounds like a ridiculous thing to think about but the type of chair you have in the nursery is pretty important. You’ll be doing lots of sitting and sleeping on it.

Before we had our daughter we were recommended a glider chair with the accompanying gliding ottoman. We tried them but they were not very comfortable and most of them were really expensive. The gliders had these cushion seats that although some were well made, it really didn’t do the job as far as comfort goes. They were not thick enough, or the cushion would come off too easy. No one ever sits straight in a chair so slouching on a glider was pretty rough on the back.

Next we turned to the old school wooden rocker. The nostalgic image of seeing someone rock on those is heartwarming but not comfortable. Although Cracker Barrel does a good job of trying to get people to buy them they really are not ideal for late night feedings and baby/parent naps. Still some people do it.

Finally we decided one day to go to a furniture store and see what they had to offer. We figured there might be a broader selection to chose from. There was more of the same there, but then we saw it. The recliner. My wife and I looked at each other as the scales fell from our eyes.

Screw the glider. We want a recliner!

We instantly knew that a recliner chair was the way to go. It was half the price of a glider and a million times more comfortable. My wife loved it and it was pretty roomie. The upside too was that once the kid outgrows being held on the chair daddy could move the recliner to his man cave. Everyone wins.

We have had our chocolate color recliner for over two years and it is great. We have slept in it with kid in arms. When they are new born it’s perfect because your arms are raised on the armrest and it creates this little area for them to sleep in. If they somehow moved they would bump onto your arms and still be safe. As our daughter grows the recliners size allows for us to still sit in it with her and be comfortable. The cushioning is great and I have never felt wood against my back, or the need to reposition because the cushion moved. Our recliner also rocks back and forth which is pretty awesome since that’s one of the selling points of most baby gliders. I think most importantly the recliner reclines. There is nothing nicer than pulling that lever and instantly having your feet raised and your back dropped to a semi-horizontal position. It is the epitome of relaxation.

Another thing we love about the recliner is the fact that it’s cushioned enough that when your two year old bounces onto the arm rest it doesn’t bust her nose up. If a kid did that on a glider or rocker that’s pure hickory on the snout and a potential trip to the ER. Claire has jumped from her toddler rocking chair (I know it’s ironic) onto the recliner and has been caught by cushion every time.

So those are my thoughts on a nursery chair. Ultimately you need to decide for yourself, but let’s face it a glider in your man cave is gonna be weird. Just saying.

Categories: Baby furniture, comfort, fatherhood, home and family, Nursery, recliners | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shame

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A few days ago Claire was having some digestive issues. I don’t know if it’s the mangos or what but it was interesting. Claire is also getting use to the whole potty training thing, which started of well, but now we have now regressed. So we are hanging out playing with her toys and suddenly I notice that Claire is doing this weird dance. I ask her if she needs to go to the potty and she says “no”, which means she really does have to go. I put her on the potty and she sat for a minute and kept trying to get up. Finally, I had enough and picked her up from the potty. I guess that the upward motion of picking her up followed by gravity pressing her butt back down onto my arm caused bombs to drop on the floor. It kind of startled me at first and when I looked at my arm and saw a giant lump of poop I was brought back to reality.

My wife took Claire, changed her and I cleaned up. A few minutes later we had restored order. My wife went to work and Claire and I continued playing. After 10 minutes or so I got a big whiff of Claire’s work…again. I picked Claire up and changed her and we continued playing. Another 10 minutes went by and Claire moved away from me and hid. I was confused. “Baby what are you doing?” Claire continued to move away from me, her face showing what I first thought was concern, mixed with fear. I had never seen her do this before. Was she scared? Did she see or hear something that caused fear? Finally, my nose told me what was wrong. Claire had pooped again. I approached her and she coward with that same weird look on her face. Finally I recognized what was happening. I had seen this look before in others, but I did not expect to find it on my baby girl.

Shame. My daughter felt shame…

I slowly walked up to Claire and she began to cry and yell, “no, no!” She continued to run away from me. I bent down and took Claire’s hand, “It’s okay baby. Lets go change your diaper.” Claire wasn’t sure what to do. She resisted some more and continued to have that shameful look. I picked her up and changed her diaper. I wiped away all the filth and told her how much I loved her. Claire’s shameful look disappeared with each wipe that took away her stains.I put Claire down and she went back to playing. I watched my little girl run, shout and laugh. I smiled and had one of those moments where you just take it all in and thank God that life is so good.

Its difficult to put into words how painful it was to see my innocent daughter experience shame. I don’t know how Claire could ever think that she needs to hide from me, even if she pooped 3 times in a row. I guess we all experience shame at some point, I just didn’t think it would begin this early on in my daughters life.

Shame is never helpful to a person. Guilt is the recognition that we’ve done something wrong and our conscience responds appropriately (at least it should). Guilt helps us to make the change or seek forgiveness for the wrong we have done. Shame however, is different. Shame tells us that the wrong we have done is bad and that we are bad as well. Shame diminishes us as a person. Shame tries to rob us of our dignity. Shame makes us run away and hide. We do this with God all the time. We fall and think that somehow what we have done is too bad. Unforgivable. Yet God the Father comes searching for us—as if we could actually ever hide from Him.

As a father I recognize that I must do whatever it takes to help my daughter process her emotions in a healthy way. When she is guilty of doing wrong she needs to properly recognize this and respond accordingly. There is no room for shame in anyone’s mind and heart because all it does is distort and lead us away from those who love us, especially God. My hope is that in any occurrence where shame tries to creep its head in my daughter’s heart and mind I will be able to help her recognize it so that instead of hiding she runs to her Fathers arms for healing, forgiveness and peace.

Categories: baby pooping on you, cleansing, daughters, dealing with shame, fatherhood, God, shame, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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