Posts Tagged With: fathers

Six Years In

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The last six years have gone by so fast! It is hard to believe that six years ago my wife and I had a baby girl that would change our lives. That “baby girl” is now six years old (Claire) and we have a two year old (Cecilia). Life is simply awesome. There have been challenges for sure. However, most of these challenges are insignificant compared to the blessings we have received from being parents. 

I try to reflect on life as much as possible. We all know from experience that if you don’t pause and take time to reflect you let too much go by. Whether good or bad we need to process what life throws at us.

Here are six things that I have learned on this journey so far:

Just Let it Happen: Honestly, this is one I am not exactly comfortable, nor good at. If you have read any of my posts you know that I am a bit of a control freak and “letting things happen” is not necessarily part of my mission statement. Six years in I have learned that you just have to go with it sometimes. If the six year old decides to make you dinner you really shouldn’t blow up on her. Sure the kitchen walls are no longer the color you painted them, but it’s just paint…right? The two year old decided to potty train on her own and is super excited that 25% of her “deposit” made its way into the toilet. Maybe the other 75% will come out of the carpet…eventually. 

No Perfect Moment: I’m still waiting for that perfect moment when I do something super fatherly that my children are transformed by and respond, “Daddy, you were right. You are so amazing!” What I have found over and over again is that every moment counts. My daughters will become great, and develop virtue moment by moment. So will I. Little by little we move in the right direction. All those little moments I chose to love, respect and not be overwhelmed by the minutia of parenthood will create a life filled with moments that when stringed together paint a beautiful story. 

Speak Clearly. Pause. Repeat. Any Questions? My six year old tests my patience. Every. Single. Day. Often times my frustration is my own fault. I assume my daughter knows what cleaning up her mess means. I assume that she understands what eating all her food means. I assume she understands that quiet time literally means you don’t make a sound. We all have expectations for our children. This is a good thing. However, I have found I don’t always communicate this well. Six years in I am learning to be a better communicator. Speaking clearly and in simple terms is a must. Pausing to let the child process is a must. Having the child repeat the information back to you is a must. Asking them if they have any questions is a must. Get the point? Well…I don’t always get it and that leads to a frustrated child and father. 

Waste Time with Your Children: This is something Pope Francis once said to fathers in one of his addresses. The whole idea was to understand that being with your kids doesn’t have to have an agenda. It doesn’t even have to be “productive”. Just be with them. The Popes statement has stuck with me and really has helped me to see time with my kids in a different light. The games my kids play are not always fun, they don’t always make sense and that is okay. What matters is that I just spend time with them.

Change in Priorities: It is no secret that having kid’s makes you look at things in different ways. This is necessary. Money for my wife and I has been one of the things that we are looking at in a different light. We made the decision before we had kids that we would not send them to public school. There are many reasons for that which I will not get into here. The point is that sending our kids to a school we have to pay for is hard. Money that we could use for paying off debt and other items goes towards our kid’s school. It is a worthwhile investment for sure! However, this investment changes the way we operate. Whatever your priorities are they require change. That change can sometimes be uncomfortable, but in the context of my kid’s current education it is well worth it. Claire has learned so much from being in a Montessori school. The learning and experiences she is having make this a solid, set in steel priority for us—no matter how much it hurts.

Traditions Matter: One of the things I dislike about our modern secular culture is the lack of adherence to traditions. There are so many amazing traditions both religious and non-religious that we seem to have just pushed aside. Unfortunately, I didn’t grow up in a household with traditions. This makes it difficult to pass or establish any with our kids. However, we have a few that we have implemented: celebrating the kids Saint Feast day, celebrating their baptism dates (and future dates they received their sacraments), praying as a family, Advent Tree, reading books before bed, and playing lots of board games. These are just some. Traditions anchor us. They are moments with meaning that remind us of who we are, where we have been and where we are going. 

This list could be a lot longer. All in all these have been the six best years of my life. Lots of surprises, frustrations, laughs and some tears. All incredible. 

Categories: children, dads, fatherhood, fathers, home and family, Parenting, Uncategorized | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Board Games – 5 reasons why you should play with your family.

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One of my absolute favorite things to do with my family is play board games. Im not sure when or how I was introduced to board games, but I love them. There is something so exciting about sitting around with my kids and introducing them to a game that they want to come back to over and over again. I love hearing, “awww…just one more game daddy?” 

I know I’ve got them hooked. 

My wife and I have more board games than we can count. I’m not sure how this became the go to gift for us, but it has. Every birthday or Christmas someone gets us a new one. We don’t mind it, but storage is not as readily available for these rectangular friends as it used to be. We still figure out a spot for them and keep on playing. 

We first introduced our oldest, Claire, to board games at the age of two. Having her mommas brain allowed the kiddo to pick up rules pretty quickly. We have a Disney version of Shoots and Ladders that she got the hang off right away. As the years have gone by we have evolved to more complicated games that require strategy. Some of these games are pretty complex (for example, Settlers of Catan) however it all depends on your kid. We know Claire can handle complexity so we introduce her to more complex games. Cecilia is not quite there but she picks up on the excitement in the air and “plays” with mommy or I. 

Playing board games have many advantages. Here are my top five reasons why you should play board games with your family. 

1.) Strategy: Board games require you to use your brain. Strategy is something that even the most basic of games require and this can only occur by thinking. I love seeing my daughters rethink their strategy because the plan they thought was going to work is now not a possibility. This fires up those synapses and the the brain tries to figure out a new solution. Your kids learn via board games to think in a way that most classroom activities cannot teach. 

2.) Winning and Losing: Personally I think we are living in a candy-ass culture that is absolutely out of touch with reality—especially when it comes to what is “fair”. Young people and grown adults pout over not getting “what they deserve”. Board games have clear winners and losers. This is very important. I love seeing my daughters confidence grow when she wins. I also love it when she loses. I love it because it gives my daughter the opportunity to grow in virtue, temperance and just being a good person all around. Letting our children learn from their loses is one of the best things we can help them with. Board games create a simple environment that can teach winning an losing. I think this is really important. If your kid doesn’t win a race or soccer game there are some real emotions attached to that. Personally, I believe that playing board games preps our children in an objective way that helps them to deal with their emotions and ultimately come to grips with the reality that sometimes you win some, and sometimes you don’t. 

3.) Being patient: Daddy really struggles with this one. I have a very strategic mind which means I calculate moves two to three steps ahead. My wife takes forever, which leads me to say unhelpful things such as: “are you still playing?” “Do you need an assist?” “Hey, we want to put the kids down to bed before midnight”. My daughter Claire will usually respond with, “Daddy, be patient.” Claire has some of her daddy’s genes because she gets very excited especially when she sees that the next move could bring about a win. She will often times go out of turn and celebrate victory a little too soon. We have to remind her that it wasn’t her turn and this frustrates her. Daddy usually responds with, “Claire, be patient.”

4.) Quality Time: I know there are lots of ways of creating amazing moments for quality time. For us playing board games is one of those ways. When ever we finish playing a game there is this sense of bonding that has occurred. We immediately begin talking about that awesome move someone made, or how close so and so was to winning. There is a real satisfaction that comes about from playing board games. It is palpable and you know it has filled up your family’s quality time tank.

5.) It is fun: Yup, this is probably the top reason why you should play board games. They are just plain ole fun!  

To close out this post I wanted to share some of our families favorite games. We definitely have some individual and family favorites. These are a lll games we play with as a family. Claire is now 6 and can handle all of these. As mentioned before, Cecilia (2 years old) “plays with mommy and daddy”. Cecilia doesn’t quite have the capacity that her older sister had at two years old. It is what it is, but Cecilia can spin things, roll the dice and move pieces. 

Here’s a list of our favorite games to play as a family: 

UNO, Settlers of Catan, Ticket to Ride, Candy Land, Monopoly Jr, Sequence (kid version), Old Maid, Jenga, 5 Second Rule, Mexican Trains.

Categories: board games, dad and the kids, dads, fatherhood, fathers, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Kindergarten

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Today was a normal day. My wife and I woke up and got the kids ready. We prayed. Breakfast was made. Diapers were changed. As I sat on the couch killing a few minutes before we had to leave it struck me. I’m not really sure how it happened but today my eldest began kindergarten. I stood up and knew I wanted to capture the moment. I found a piece of paper and threw together a homemade sign announcing the news. A picture was taken and I am now feeling like time is slipping by. 

I’m not one of those fathers that don’t spend time with his kids. I pride myself in giving a lot of my time to my kids. Yet, no matter how much I give of myself to my girls they are still growing up so fast. It seems like just yesterday I brought my firstborn home. How can she already be in kindergarten? Cecilia my youngest is walking and doesn’t want to be rocked to sleep anymore. We use to rock Cecilia to sleep all the time and now she pushes away to lay down and fall asleep on her own. 

I see the transformation in these girls moment by moment. Every day I encounter my girls and relish in their new gained knowledge, discoveries, and wonder. I am always amazed at how much they can do. Claire played her very first game of Settlers of Catan yesterday. She tied with me for first place. Anyone that has ever played this game knows that nobody wins their first time. Cecilia can do sign language when she wants more food. She can sign for milk and water. Amazing. I can barely speak English most days. 

I recognize that a milestone like entering primary school is a big deal for most. Maybe that’s why there is this nostalgic feeling of “where did my little ones go?” I don’t want time to freeze so that my girls stay little. I want them to reach their full potential as God intended it. However, I wish there was a way to hold on to these younger years a little longer. Hold on to them and rest in them.

On days like this, I thank God for the gift of my girls, my wife, and the blessing that they are. Praise the Lord for life, for children, for growth. There are definitely some bittersweet moments with these gals. I love seeing them small, but I also wish they could wipe their own behinds. I love listening to Claire talk about all the cool things going on with her, but sometimes I wish she would just pause and not say anything for a few minutes. 

It is all gift friends. Gift. 

The wiping of butts. Gift. The ongoing nagging and whining. Gift. The having to go into the bedroom one more time because there might be a monster. Gift. 

I hope that I can be aware of the giftedness I have been given. All of the time. 

Categories: back to school, being thankful, dads, fatherhood, fathers, growing up, kindergarten, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

15 Minutes a Day

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A few months back I heard a friend talk about something a psychologist had said to her in reference to spending quality time with their children. A minimum of fifteen minutes of quality time dedicated to each child a day is essential. At first, this seemed absurd. Only fifteen minutes? What kind of parent only dedicates fifteen minutes of quality time with their child a day?
 

Well, as I began to look at an average day I recognized that there was much interaction with each of my girls, but I could not really call it quality time. On the way to school, we may chat about random stuff, or depending on Claire’s mood sit quietly the whole way there. We always eat dinner together, but between one kid breaking down because they are tired, and the other declaring they don’t like our food it certainly doesn’t feel like quality time. 

I realized very quickly that on an average day I am not really spending much quality time with my kids. It was a really depressing realization. I Googled this “15 minutes a day” thing and sure enough its a thing. I’m not gonna lie it feels cheap. 15 minutes of quality time in a whole day and that’s going to make a difference? Well, the reality is that it does work. Here’s what I’ve learned from putting this into practice:

15 Minutes is the minimum

Any parent worth their weight in diapers isn’t going to limit their interaction with their child to just 15 minutes a day. This is the minimum time we should have with our kids. It sounds pathetic since the average amount of time browsing Facebook in the US is 40 minutes a day. What I have found is that the 15-minute rule is a minimum that helps me to be intentional about making sure I spend quality time with my kids. I aim to spend more quality time with them but at the very least each kid will get 15 minutes a day. 

Slows me down

One of the problems we have in our society is the inability to slow down. We are always running a million miles an hour. This is especially difficult when you are commuting, or living in a city that instigates never slowing down. I find that the 15-minute rule helps me slow down and recognize that I need to be present to my girls and that these 15 minutes must not be rushed through. When I am intentional about slowing down I am able to recognize how important this time is for my girls but also for myself. 

Priorities

There are so many things in my life that have “top shelf” priority. It really is ridiculous. Spending time with my girls (my wife included) is, and should always be top shelf. The reality, however, is that some days I get home and just want to check out. The 15-minute rule is helping me to recognize that my little beauties are one of the main reason why I exist. My life has to be ordered so that they get quality time no matter how hectic the day is. 

Keeps me in check

We all need accountability. Better yet, we need accountability that is accessible, and practical. The 15-minute rule keeps me in check so that I am the father I need to be. If I come home and its almost bedtime my mind knows that I need to give my gals their quality time. This accountability for me is amazing.


At the end of the day, the 15-minute rule is a tool to help us be intentional. You might not need this tool because you are always spending quality time with your kids. Maybe you have a different type of tool that keeps you on track. Regardless of whether you use this rule or another, spending quality time with each of your kids is key and something all fathers need to make a priority. 

Categories: being too busy, fatherhood, fathers, making time, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Montessori School, Missing Teeth and a New Car Seat

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I’m not really sure how it happened. One day Claire was born and now she’s on the verge of turning 5 years old. Time didn’t zoom by, it just happened and here we are.

The last few months have been pretty amazing. Claire started at a Catholic Montessori school where she is learning at a rapid pace. There’s a good chance she will be smarter than me by next week. We chose to send her there instead of the parochial school attached to the parish because we are big fans of the Montessori model as well as the small student to teacher ratio (she is one of three). Claire has her momma’s brain and is learning so much. At some point Claire and I went from having one word conversations to now going back and forth regarding what animals are vertebrates. Again, time didn’t zoom by and bring us to this place. It just happened and here we are.

Last week Claire came home and said she had a loose tooth. I thought to myself, “umm…did you get into a fist fight? You’re too young to be loosing your teeth.” Claire’s first tooth has come out and I am once again standing in awe at the reality that this little girl isn’t so little anymore. There is sadness in some ways. My first born whom I held and took naps with is now this tall, spunky kid who can pour her own milk, and make herself a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Now, don’t get me wrong I like not having to make breakfast, but dang…

The sadness I am experiencing is a bittersweet kind of thing. Yes, my little girl isn’t so little, and that piece is fading away. However, this new little girl is bringing into life all kinds of beautiful experiences and memories that I cant help falling in love with her all over again. It is quite the thing to have your child grow up.

Cecilia, our second daughter is almost 10 months old. Our experience with Cecilia has been very different. We got all the new baby stuff down from our first born, and we are enjoying Cecilia more than we did Claire. I guess that when we had our first-born there was so much newness to the experience that we were hyper vigilant about everything. Now, with Cecilia, we are calmer and able to experience her with that knowledge we got from our time with Claire. However, I am in awe that 10 months have gone by. Cecilia is crawling and interacting with her amazing little personality. It is definitely awesome.

Again, time didn’t zoom by, it just happened and here we are.

In between all of the above, and switching out car seats for both kids (another wow moment) I am glad that I can pause and be grateful for all the experiences I have with these kids. My wife and I try our best to make sure we savor the moments we have with them. Time isn’t zooming by for us because we are trying as best as we can to live in the moment with these kids. Yet, no matter how intentional we are about our time with the girls we still have these moments where we recognize that they are older, taller, smarter, etc. It just happens and we look at ourselves wondering how?

But here we are. And we love every moment of it.

Categories: being thankful, dads, fatherhood, fathers, growing up, learning, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

You Never Know

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It was a typical Friday afternoon. I was running around with the girls getting groceries. Claire was hungry so we stopped at the Costco eatery and grabbed a slice of pizza, and a hot dog. I was tired from running around and Cecilia (#2) was in need of a bottle. We sat on the white plastic picnic table and I said, “Lets pray.” We made the sign of the cross, and asked God to bless our food. We crossed ourselves once again and Claire proceeded to devour her hotdog. Cecilia pounded her 4 ounces of milk like it was going out of style. I had a bottle in one hand, and a pie slice in the other.

Quite amusing.

As I awkwardly fed my daughter and myself I noticed an elderly man looking over at us. I figured I looked like a big dumb animal with the way I was handling the pizza and baby bottle—it must’ve been entertaining for those around. The man finished his pizza slice and I continued to feed the kiddos. Claire was talking about some book with a dinosaur and a shrinking machine. Cecilia was yelling at me in baby jibber jabber—I think she wanted my pizza.

We were almost finished when the elderly man came up to us. I was bracing myself to hear some lame, “dad’s on his own” joke. The man stopped, and looked at me with a smile and said, “thank you for praying with your children.” I responded with a simple, “your welcome.” The elderly man began to tear up. He tried to speak again, but choked up. Finally, he was able to let out, “you have no idea how important this is.” He smiled a simple smile, and walked off. I could tell that he had not expected to get so emotional.

I paused and looked around the Costco eatery. There was a bunch of people there. Families, elderly couples, single men and women. For an instant I wondered what was going on in all of their lives. Were they ok? Were they happy? Suffering? I caught a last glimpse of the elderly man as he walked out of the store. I wondered if he had lost a child. Maybe.

I’m not really sure what was going on in that mans heart and mind, but I do know that the simple act of praying with my daughters for 30 seconds was enough to powerfully impact his day. You just never know what simple gesture, word, or action can be a blessing in someone’s life.

Categories: being thankful, Catholic, dad and the kids, dads, fatherhood, fathers, prayer, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

Regular Maintenance

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A few months ago I was really struggling with anger and patience. There had been a lot of changes in our family routine. I am a creature of habit and so too much change at once without some kind of normalcy is not good for me. The anger and lack of patience was mostly unleashed on my four year old. I was really hard on her and it culminated one day after mass where Claire was being particularly difficult. It was a Saturday night after 7pm and Claire was tired and hungry, which led to her bad behavior. I was so angry after mass that I grabbed Claire before leaving the cry room, slapped her bottom and shook her as I yelled. Claire immediately started crying and my wife almost unleashed her second-degree-Shotokan-Karate-black-belt-skills on me.

We went home, and I was angry—more with myself then anything else. My wife was pissed off and my daughter was upset that the man she looks to as a source of love and protection had just mistreated her. Needless to say it was a low point for me. My wife took Claire upstairs and put her to bed after calming her down. I sat on the couch with tears in my eyes.

My wife and I talked (no Karate involved). We decided that I needed to go and speak to a counselor. This had been something that I had been considering for a few months, but for a number of reasons I kept pushing it off. I got an appointment pretty quickly and saw my counselor for about 4 months straight (once a month).

It was great.

I know there is a lot of taboo regarding counselors and psychiatrists. As a Hispanic man I have always heard people shun mental health professionals in my culture. “People will think you are crazy”, is one of the many things I heard growing up. The reality is that if I hadn’t gone to a counselor I probably would have erupted again, and gone crazy.

Counseling was great for me. It was like going into the mechanic and getting regular maintenance done on the car. Some of the fluids needed to be topped off, a few alignments were made here and there, and I was back on the road. There was no discomfort or frustration. The counselor heard what I had to say and he made some recommendations. I applied the said recommendations and things got better. I still struggle here and there, but there is a huge difference between then and now.

There are lots of men—particularly fathers—that could benefit from seeing a counselor. There is nothing worse than going to the mechanic and hearing that if I would have brought the car in months ago for regular maintenance I could have avoided the catastrophic damage that I now have on my hands.

So maybe you think counselors are for the weak, yuppies, or stupid people. Regardless of the possible bias you may have, the potential benefits of seeing a counselor vastly outweigh those biases. Our families need strong men that can lead, love and serve them mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. So be a man and go in for some maintenance.

 

Categories: being a man, best self, counseling, dads, fatherhood, frustration, healthy living, home and family, manhood, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Good Enough is still Good Enough

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A few months ago I came across this article via Facebook. A lot of what it said I had hear before, but the one line of advice that really struck me was this:

“Go for ‘good enough’ instead of ‘best decision ever made on earth’”.

I think that most of us want the best—the best for ourselves, children, spouses, etc. However the reality is that “the best” isn’t always attainable. Sometimes no matter how hard we work, prep and execute we are not able to obtain the best. Even if the “best” is not obtainable should that keep us from seeking the next best thing—good enough.

Our dynamic at home has changed in the last few weeks, which is difficult for us type A, routine-is-our-best-friend kind of people. One of those dynamics has me picking up the kids and then getting home to immediately cook dinner for the family. Inevitably, cooking takes time, which then takes time away from hanging out with my kids. However I have found that we have this 30-minute window between cooking dinner and my wife getting home that I have been using to go outside and play fishes and minnows with my girls. We run around, chase each other and then go on our playground and pretend we are the characters from the Magic Tree House book series.

Is this the most epic hangout time with my daughters? Probably not.

We could be doing lots of other things that are more fun and more memorable, but we don’t have time for it during the week. However this 30-minute window is good enough to bond with my girls, run around a bit and spend quality time together. Sure, I would love hours on end with them, but it’s not going to happen on a weeknight after working all day and getting dinner ready. The realization that good enough is actually good enough has been a much welcome relief for this dad who wants the best all the time.

So for all those dads out there that feel like there’s never enough time, space, room, resources, fishing, hunting, etc. in your life; know that even a little bit of it makes a big difference.

Categories: dad and the kids, fatherhood, fathers, Parenting, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Killing Me

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The last two months have been tough. Going from one kid to two has its challenges. The baby has been easy: sleep, eat, poop, repeat. My wonderful wife has been great and for the most part is the one that has to focus on Cecilia (the baby). Most of my time and focus has been on Claire (the four year old). This started of really well, but it has quickly spiraled into chaos.

Everything is a struggle with Claire.

Waking up, getting dressed, eating, going to preschool, coming home, play time, snack time and definitely going to bed at night. There isn’t one thing that we do during the day that doesn’t have the potential to explode on my face, and it usually does. Claire and I will have a great time playing and eating a snack, when suddenly she will fight with me about getting a bath. Claire will be dead tired and fight getting into bed; she will then wake up at 3am, 4am and 5am because she “can’t sleep”. WHAT THE HELL!! There is no rhyme or reason to it (at least I can’t see one).

I realize that change for a four year old is difficult, and lets face it…she is only four years old. Regardless of this fact, I am exhausted. I literally feel dead and spent every single day and night. The nights where Claire decides to wake up at 3am because she’s hungry are the worst. It takes all that I have to not run off to Mexico and seek asylum.

The kid is killing me.

When I am able to see past my exhaustion I recognize that this is exactly what is suppose to happen.

I need to die.

In the last couple of weeks I’ve come to realize that it isn’t my daughters fighting, crankiness, random 3am wake ups that are killing me. Sure this is tough for any person, but the fact is that my comfort, my desire for control and order are being purged out of me. They are unbalanced and unrealistic.

I don’t want to be purged. I want comfort. I want control. I want order.

I have known that I am “particular” about things; I believe its one of the reasons why I am successful at work. However, I never would have consider myself so rigged that I would be stressed out the way I currently am. I guess its always different in the most sacred of inner sanctums like home.

Comfort is good to some extent, but there is no growth in it. Comfort doesn’t allow for testing and purging. Trying to control things and people isn’t freedom, its slavery for them and myself. Order has value, until it turns your wife and daughters into tasks, objects that must be taken care of.

The kid isn’t killing me, she is an instrument of Gods grace that is taking this overly comfortable, control freak, that values order way too much; and is slowly, painfully, yet beautifully changing me into something else. Something better.

Something worth dying for.

I never would have thought that I would have these things messing with me, but I do. My spiritual director and counselor tell me that I am in a beautiful place, a sweet spot of sorts that has exponential opportunities for growth and transformation. I see more and more through this crazy, beautiful gift of a four year old that discovering fatherhood is not just about what I can do to help my children become holy, loving and responsible adults. It is also a journey of discovering that this father has to become a holy, loving and responsible adult.

Man! Never a dull moment in this journey.

Categories: being a man, best self, Catholic, dad and the kids, dads, death, dying to self, fatherhood, fathers, Parenting, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Village

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We are 4 weeks into being parents for the second time around and it is great. My wife is doing well, minus the whole sleeping thing. Cecilia is healthy and very alert. We were told that, “its easier the second time around” and it definitely is. We knew what to expect which was great. Even though it was easier there still have been some challenges along the way that have made me incredibly grateful for our village.

My wife and I have some friends who have a good chunk of their immediate family living within walking distance. We tease them that it is a “compound” and that they are taking over that part of town. Kidding aside, there is something beautiful about that level of connectedness with family that these friends share. This little village of theirs gets them through the good, the bad and the ugly. Although my wife and I don’t have immediate family within walking distance we are blessed with a local community of friends, church family and amazing neighbors that have become our village.

The last few weeks have been a reminder of how necessary it is to have a village. Not just to provide meals because we had a baby, but for the overall goodness and formation of our family. Our village consists of men and women whose holiness and general awesomeness is being absorbed by our family and particularly our oldest daughter. Claire hears mom and dad say, “be good, be holy” but she also sees others living that way. Our village provides concrete examples of serving others and Claire sees that, absorb it and jumps right in. The village gathers for fun, for prayer, for joy and for grief. We love and serve one another. We laugh and cry together. We teach and learn from each other.

If you don’t have a village join one or gather people together to form one. No family can ever become what it is suppose to be in isolation. We need one another.

Categories: being a good example, being thankful, community, fatherhood, home and family, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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